My Favorite Mistake
by Mint Pizza Queen
Summary: ONESHOT. Just a normal day at headquarters. Roy and Edward fighting, bets are being placed, and gloves go missing. RoyEd. [COMPLETED]


**A/N: **What happens when you run out of RoyEd stories on FFN? I didn't know, but I soon found out quickly…you turn to google. Yes, google. You start googling searches for RoyEd…any RoyEd…and yes, I went to AFN. _(shifty eyes) _I read everything on there too. So, here's my solution…write more RoyEd! Inspired by the many lovable and humorous feuds between the two and by a comic I read. n.n Enjoy!

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**Note: **I'm using 'dollars' instead of cenz because I'm too lazy (and tired) to go back and change it.

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**Warning: **Spazzing Edward! Whom spazzes_…(counts)…_a lot…I lost count at three. n.n Oh, and watch out for falling Hughes. ;D

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**Disclaimer: **I don't own FMA. I own the plot. And I own "Shot" and "Gun". Rawr.

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**†****My Favorite Mistake ****†**

"Well, Fullmetal, what do I owe this pleasure of--"

"Can it, Mustang."

"My, is this actually possible?"

Edward watched Roy with a worried expression. "Eh?"

"Is it actually possible that your temper is shorter than your stature?"

"**_WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO KICK A FLEA IN THE ANKLE EVEN IF HE WERE STANDING ON A HUNDRED FOOT LADDER_**?"

Roy blinked. "That must be a very small ladder."

"AAAAAAAH!" Edward nearly tore out a chunk of his blonde hair before he finally forced himself to calm down by taking a few deep breaths. Roy just smirked and watched as Fullmetal stomped out the door agitatedly.

* * *

"Hey, boss!" Havoc slid onto the seat on front of Edward and began to munch on the boy's lunch instantly. Edward just narrowed his eyes with a glare and smacked the man's hand away with his automail hand. 

"Get out of my lunch. Get your own."

"You know, boss, I hear there's a rumor--" Havoc's eyes shifted back and forth as a mischievous grin slinked onto his face, "--about the Colonel, that is…"

Edward instantly perked up. Rumors plus Mustang equals trouble…or even better, _blackmail_!

"Do tell…"

* * *

The office was trashed. Literally, and figuratively. Papers littered the floor, drawers were flung open and the contents were spilled all over creation. The filing cabinet looked like it had a good raiding also, but what made the room even more trashy with appearance was the fact that the person who was doing it wasn't finished killing it. 

Riza stood in the doorway and ducked as a phone flew over her head. "Uh, sir? What's wrong?"

"They're gone!"

"Who?"

A plant flew, narrowly missing the woman's head.

"Not who, what!" _Crack. _Roy looked up to see that he had flung a stapler at the window and the glass cracked. "Oh shit…"

"That can be fixed," Riza began to pick up papers and stack them neatly, "and this room must be cleaned as well. But sir, what are you looking for?"

"My babies!"

The woman almost dropped the pile of papers. Her eyes wide immensely. "E-e-excuse me?"

Roy poked his head from beneath the desk. "My gloves!"

A wave of relief flooded through Riza. "Oh." She paused. "You lost your gloves?"

A chair flew across the room. "Yes!" A hiss came from under one of the cushions.

"Did you bring them with you to work this morning?"

Several cushions flew at the window, finally making the crack burst and the glass shattered. "I always wear them to work!"

"When was the last time you saw them?"

Roy poked his head out of the couch and pondered. "I believe this morning when--I--" He narrowed his eyes and a whisper left his lips. "_Fullmetal_…"

* * *

"No shitting!" Edward's head nearly fell into the mashed potatoes on his plate he laughed so hard. "This is just too hilarious! Do you know what happened to them?" 

Havoc chuckled as he munched on the food Edward had given him for telling him the rumor. "Nope! I hope they're lost for good!"

"Haha! He's _really _Colonel Useless now!" He handed Havoc his dessert with a grin. "Pig out, my friend! This is a day worth remembering!"

Havoc instantly devoured the chocolate cake only to choke on part of it when a shadow fell over the table. Ed raised an eyebrow.

"Are you okay?"

_A finger points up behind him. _

Edward turned up to see an angry Mustang, who seemingly had a bright aura around him with flames shooting up from the floor. The blonde waved.

"Hiyah, Roy!"

_"Where. Are. They.?" _Each word was spat with fury.

Edward looked back to see that Havoc was hiding under the table, _with Edward's lunch_. The blonde glared at the thief.

Havoc was in mid-bite and grinned. "What? I can't let food go to waste, can I? And besides, I'm _protecting_ the food from flame-boy up there. Carry on." He devoured the food.

Edward felt a tug at his jacket and soon found himself floating a good two feet off the floor. A very perturbed glare plastered itself onto his face as he kicked and struggled in Roy's grasp. "**_LET ME GO! PUT ME DOWN SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASS AND THEN BREAK YOUR FEET OFF AND STICK THEM ON YOUR HEAD_**!"

"Sir!" Roy turned his head to see Riza glaring at him. "What are you doing to Edward?"

"The little runt stole my gloves, and the pipsqueak won't tell me where they are."

Edward's eyes almost seemed to glow with fury. He turned his head menacingly towards Mustang. _"Yooooooooooooou…"_

Havoc poked his head out from beneath the table. "Uh oh…"

"**_WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT A GLOVE WOULD BECOME A MANSION AND THAT HE WOULD BE LOST AMONGST THE LINTY HALLWAYS_**?"

'_Clap.'_

There was a bright flash as the nearest item was changed into a baseball bat. Taking a blind swing, he was rewarded by a loud _'Ow' _from behind him and he fell to the floor.

Edward turned to find Roy clutching his nose, and a small trickle of blood was running out from under his fingers. "Edward," he mumbled, "just give back my gloves. We all had a good laugh today, including Hawkeye, now please, just give them back."

The blonde alchemist twirled the bat in his automail fingers. "I would, but, you see, I don't have them."

"What?"

Havoc smirked. "Because Edward never had them! He didn't know about it till just now!"

Riza guided Roy to his feet and handed him a handkerchief. He held it on his nose and blinked back tears of pain.

"And uh, Colonel," Edward strutted by him with the bat on display, "I don't remember seeing you with them on this morning. Maybe you left them at home? Because I certainly don't have any gloves with me except the ones I'm wearing." He held up his hands to prove his point. "Search my pockets if need be. All you'll find are alchemy notes and one of my alchemy texts, and my wallet. Nothing more."

Havoc was by Edward in a heartbeat and poked him on the shoulder. "You know, boss, I wouldn't have offered him the search. He may take the body search a wee bit too extreme."

Edward glared at Roy.

Roy somehow grinned at the boy from under the handkerchief.

* * *

"You're nose isn't broken, but he did pack a punch--" 

"Swung a bat, Hawkeye, he swung a **bat**."

"--bat, excuse me." Riza placed the handkerchief back onto the man's nose after she inspected it to see if it were broke or not.

Roy sank into his seat with a groan. "For a shrimp, his swings are pretty accurate and painful."

"You better believe it, and **_I'M NOT A SHRIMP_**!" Edward dove at Mustang, who only had enough reaction time to squeak instead of diving out of the maniacal blonde's path.

Both went down onto the floor with a loud crash, but not much harm was done to the office. After all, it was still disheveled from Roy's earlier glove hunt.

After a few minutes of strangling a certain Colonel by the throat and after a few good rants, Edward finally came to his senses and blinked as he gathered in his surroundings.

"Uh…Colonel? What happened to your office?"

"A whirlwind of Mustang, that's what." Riza dropped a huge stack of forms that she had just retrieved onto the floor next to Roy's head with a smug expression. "And since he wasted all his time tearing the office apart, he has fallen behind in his work. Added onto that, he has to restore the office back to the way it was before. So, I suggest that you," her eyes fell on Roy," get up and get to work."

Riza left the office chuckling under her breath.

* * *

Edward watched in amusement as Roy began to clean up his office. "Very nice, Mustang. I always thought you were the organized type, but seeing this," he whistled, "this proves right here that you can't judge a book by it's cover." 

"Can it, Fullmetal."

Edward smirked. "Is this where I'm supposed to insert a smart-ass comment that pisses you off?"

The Flame Alchemist glared. The blonde burst into a fit of laughter and fell onto the cushion-less couch with an '_ouch_'.

* * *

"Hey, have you seen the boss?" Havoc poked Hawkeye on the shoulder grinning. Hawkeye turned her head with narrowed eyes and flames shooting out from nowhere, giving her a demonic look. The man backed away from her. "Heh, uh…" 

"Edward's in the office with Mustang," She approached him with her fingers itching towards the pistols at her sides, "However, I don't think Mustang needs anymore of a distraction because he has enough work at the moment."

The smoker instantly burst into fits of laughter. Riza glared. "What's so amusing?"

"Did you hear yourself? You said '_I don't think Mustang needs anymore of a distraction_.' And did you not say that Edward was in there?"

Riza's face burned. "I didn't mean it that way, Havoc!"

The man instantly grinned as he popped a cigarette between his teeth. "Do I sense a _bet_ coming on?"

Hughes instantly appeared out of the blue. "Bet? Where!" No sooner as he said that, he had twenty dollars waving in the air. "What's the bet!"

Riza glared at Havoc who merely shrugged cockily.

* * *

All bets were placed literally quicker than it took to brush one's teeth. The bet was simple, sparks would fly between the Flame and Fullmetal, and not the sparks of fire or the sparks of automail connecting with a cranium, but more of the little sparks normally seen on Valentine's Day. 

The betting jar was over heaping with twenties and fifties, and Riza was keeping a good eye on it with her trusty pistols _Shot _and _Gun_. Anyone who tried to tweak a good looking fifty instantly met up with one of the two and became good acquaintances.

Havoc and Hughes were fighting over who would be the one to peek in through the keyhole. Havoc won, and Hughes stomped away perturbed, only to have an idea strike him like a devious kid on Halloween who was armed with eggs and toilet paper.

He looked around cautiously before he grabbed the closest person, who just so happened to be Scieszka, and skipped down the hallway dragging her along.

* * *

"Don't you have anything better to do than to stand there laughing at me?" Roy asked agitatedly as he placed the final item into its appropriate spot in the filing cabinet and glared at the blonde. 

"Nope."

Roy sighed. "Figures, coming from someone with an attention span as short as he is…"

"**_WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE WOULD BE INSTINCTIVELY STEPPED ON BY A FLEA_**?"

"Edward!"

"Yes?"

"Shut up for once!" Roy seethed.

Edward stared with a bored look on his face, but if someone else were to see it, they'd mistaken it for a look that read '_Okay, you so didn't just say that to me because you know I'll kick your ass if you did_.'

Roy plopped onto his chair and glared at the stack of papers in front of him. "I hate paper work…" He looked up to see Edward sitting on the couch ignoring him. "Oh, and I suppose that you're going to give me the cold shoulder for the rest of the day, right?"

The boy's eyes bore into his. "Well, Colonel, you did tell me to shut up. So, give me one good reason why I wouldn't give you the cold shoulder."

"I'm sorry, Edward."

"For--"

"Telling you to shut up."

"And?"

Roy raised an eyebrow. "And what?"

The boy instantly shot to his feet. "For accusing me of stealing your damned gloves! That's what!"

Roy intertwined his fingers with a smug look. "I'm not apologizing for that."

"Why not?"

"Because I know you took them and did something with them. You've had your eyes on those gloves for a while, and this is you we're talking about."

Edward lunged at the man angrily.

* * *

Scieszka balanced the ladder and watched as Hughes climbed up it cackling like a mad-man. Ha! That would teach Havoc! He got the best seat in the house now… 

_Directly outside the office window._

Best dang view in the world, because it was a thousand times bigger than no puny hole in the door. And plus, there was a nice breeze out here.

_Oh yeah, it was goooood.  
_  
Hughes made it to the top of the ladder which stopped just below the Colonel's office. He stood on the second to the top rung and peeked into the office. He looked around to try to find the two men that were the subject of today's bet…

Then he saw it.

_Damn, how he wished he had brought his camera.  
_  
Suddenly, his mouth dropped.

_Ooh boy… _

* * *

Edward had Roy pinned down in the most peculiar positions, but he didn't care. He had the upper hand and was enjoying it. He's cockiness got the better of him. "Apologize and I'll let yah get back to your work so you won't get an ass full of lead." 

"Why would I want to apologize about something I know you clearly are responsible for?"

_Glare. _"Apologize you bast--"

Roy flipped them over and pinned Edward against the floor and smirked. "Seems like I have the upper hand now, Fullmetal. What have you got to say for yourself?"

If Roy didn't know any better, he could've sworn there was a look of utter horror on the boy's face. Ed's face paled and his mouth dropped and he began to point up to the window. The Flame Alchemist shook his head. "Not falling for any tricks, Fullmetal…"

_"Maes…"  
_

The man hesitated. "What?"

_"Maes…outside window…"  
_  
Roy looked up to find the familiar face of the glasses wearing man hovering outside the window with a look of utter shock on his face. The alchemist shot up and pointed angrily at Hughes. "**YOU**!"

* * *

Hughes seemed to topple every which way in surprise, and down went the ladder with a scream coming from his mouth that any female in distress would've envied. 

Scieszka watched in horror as he tumbled into the nearby bushes. Quickly as she could in her high-heels, she ran over to him. "Sir! Are you alright?"

"Y-yes…I'm fine…"

Scieszka did a quick salute. "That's good sir, permission to run to save myself?"

"Permission granted…"

With that, the woman ran quicker than one could shout '_paramedic'_.

* * *

Roy threw open the window and leaned out, watching as Scieszka fled the scene. He then narrowed his eyes at the man in the bushes who crawled out with agony. 

"**HUGHES**! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"

Hughes looked up and waved cheekily before fleeing as well.

The alchemist slammed the window shut, but it didn't really any do good. A broken window doesn't really change anything since it had no glass in it anymore.

"What the hell was he doing!" Edward fumed with evidence of a blush on his face. "Why was he outside your window!"

"Most likely one of those ridiculous bets," Roy scratched the back of his neck agitatedly.

"Oh," Edward paused, then reality struck him, "Bets? What sort of bets are you talking about?"

Roy seated himself at his desk again and instantly started his task of signing his paperwork. "Eh, you know, who's going to get turned down next by the secretary for a date, who'd get tortured by Hughes by photos first, who would get your face the reddest…"

Another glared came from Edward. Roy threw his hands up in the air. "Hey, I don't take any part in them. I listen in on them. What do you expect me to listen to while doing paperwork?"

"You actually do your paperwork? Surprise, surprise." Edward scoffed.

* * *

Hughes met up with Havoc and spilled the news to the man. The cigarette that had been sitting between his teeth dropped to the floor like a stone and he gaped. 

"You're serious?"

"I don't know if they were actually doing _that_, but from their position eh--" Hughes trailed off while he adjusted his glasses, "--it seemed pretty much so."

Havoc slammed a fist into the palm of his other hand. "We can't make a positive notion of this, we need to know for sure if they are together or not."

Hughes chuckled. "Yeah, cause for one thing, I don't want Riza to win that dough."

Riza looked up from her guard post by the jar. Shot and Gun were still on duty by her side like ever faithful dogs…

_Damn._

* * *

"Edward?" 

"Yes?"

"Why are you still here?"

"Al is in Rizembool and I have nothing better to do with my time. Why?"

"Just wondering. And I'm wondering something else too…"

"Yes?"

"Why are you on my desk?"

"I'm lounging."

"I can see that."

"That's good."

"I am also wondering another thing…"

"And that is…"

"Where are my gloves?"

"I don't know. I don't know where you put your stuff."

"Edward?"

"What now?"

"Will you help me find my gloves?"

"…"

"Ed?"

"…I-I don't know…"

"Please?"

"Like I said, I don't know."

"I'll apologize about accusing you of stealing them."

"Okay then. I'll help. But uh, where are we looking?"

"My place."

* * *

The door to Roy's office creaked open and out popped both the Colonel and Fullmetal. Hughes instantly dove under Riza's unoccupied desk and peeked out from underneath. Havoc nearly fell backwards in his chair and swallow his cigarette in the process. 

Roy adjusted the jacket on his shoulders. "I'll be checking out early tonight. Edward's coming with me to help find my gloves."

Roy led the way as both of the men left.

A cough came from the corner of the room from Riza who was sitting in a chair with the jar of money. A smug grin filled her features as she grabbed a good wad of cash, licked her thumb and began to count.

"_Twenty, forty, sixty, one hundred_…"

* * *

"Now," Edward entered into the man's house shrugging his jacket off, "where would you normally put your gloves? As in, when you get home first thing, what do you do with them?" 

"I put them in a small wooden box." Roy dashed up the stairs. "You can look around down there if you want!"

Edward took the offer and instantly dove for the coffee table. After looking at a couple of the magazine covers though, he was having second thoughts.

He gagged as he dropped the magazine onto the table. '_Ewww_…'

"Here." Edward eeped. _'How the hell did he get down here so fast?'_ "This is where I normally put them."

Edward looked inside the box. "Spacious. Why don't you have more than one pair?"

"Well, I did have a couple pairs, but after that battle with you," Roy scowled. "You destroyed my gloves."

"Heehee…eh…oh yeah…" Edward flung his boots off and rubbed his hands together. "Alrighty then, let's get looking, shall we?"

* * *

"WHAT?" 

"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!"

"Oh, but I am boys, I am." Riza filed through the money cheekily. "Five hundred big ones. And do you know what I am going to do with this money?"

Havoc seemed to cry. "What?"

"Treat myself to a damn good dinner at one of my favorite restaurants and spoil myself with a good day at the spa."

Hughes cried for Havoc.

* * *

"FOUND THEM!" Edward triumphantly did a summersault from the closet onto Roy's bed and began jumping up and down on the mattress. 

Roy dashed in. "Where did you find them?"

"Closet." Edward waved them in the air as he continued to bounce.

Roy let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, so much. Can I have them now?"

"Nope."

Roy snapped his ungloved fingers. "I know, I am sorry for accusing you of stealing them. Can I have them now?"

"Nope." Edward threw his legs from underneath himself and landed on his back and bounced slightly before coming to a stop.

"What do you mean, nope?" Roy questioned worriedly.

"I want more than just a simple 'thank you' and an apology." He looked over the gloves with false interest.

The older man blinked. "What do you want then?"

Edward rolled onto his stomach. "Mmm…I don't know, that's the thing."

Suddenly, an idea popped into Roy's head. He crawled onto the bed next to the young man and leaned so he was by Ed's ear. He whispered. "How will this do as a 'thank you'?"

Edward turned to look. "What?"

He suddenly felt lips pressed onto his own and his eyes grew in size. He felt Roy pull away and the young boy blinked.

"Well?"

Ed placed a hand to his lips. A cocky grin suddenly filled his face. "Well, I don't know. It was so quick and all, I don't think it was good enough."

Roy smirked and pinned the boy down and began to kiss him roughly.

Roy's gloves laid forgotten on the floor.

* * *

"I hate Riza." 

"I hate you."

"I hate Roy."

"I hate you."

"I hate Edward."

"I hate you."

"I hate you, too."

Havoc and Hughes glared daggers at each other as Riza practically skipped down the hallway as she left to get an appointment scheduled for the day at the spa.

* * *

"You know, this was the first time I was actually able to prove that you made a mistake, Roy." Edward cheekily. 

"And you know what, Ed?"

"Hn?"

"This has to be my favorite mistake that I have ever made."

_**-Fin-**_


End file.
